Posts Tagged ‘closer’

Prince William Confirms that Kate does have Breasts

September 16, 2012

Following months of speculation…. has she or hasn’t she… the palace have finally ended speculation by confirming the suspicions help by low level tabloids around the world that Kate does indeed have two breasts….

The palace are now hoping, following this revelation that Kate and her breasts will be left alone to do whatever they normally do on a day to day basis.

suspicions grew following the release of pictures such as these, clearly showing two bumps that probably indicate the presence of breasts.

Two bumps indicating that Kate may well be concealing breasts

Kate has been guilty of concealing her breasts for years now, and this kind of duplicity and deception can only be ended by the scrupulous actions of the world press, proving once and for all that she has been trying to hide the truth from us all.

Jackie Spangle, a random from Woking who we caught up with as she came out of a local Harvester said, “I feel betrayed. For several years Kate has been a heroine of mine, I looked up to her because she was special and different,” before adding “to find out that she is just like me, with two breasts and stuff is soul destroying.”

It was revealed by a source inside the French Closer magazine offices that they have proof also that not only does Kate wax body hair, but also incontrovertible evidence that on occasion she also takes a number two.

This news is set to shock the world who up until now hadn’t given a flying fuck about any of this.

It is also understood by another insider that several magazines have information that Kate might also be in possession of a FooFoo, which she might very well use in the not too distant future to make a baby who will be 3rd in line to the throne. These undisclosed magazines are all eager to be the first to provide proof of the existence of her alleged FooFoo, and have pledged to hound her to the four corners of the globe in their quest for photographic evidence.

We asked several people on the street for their opinions, all of which came out on Kate’s side, with one exception, Kyle Downey from Carlisle who said, “It’s all well and good, but it’s Kate’s sister Pippa’s Norks we all really want to see, so why aren’t they all over the interweb?” adding, “that really would make my broadband fees worth paying.”