Prince Harry Attacked in Helmand Province

Following reports that Camp Bastion was attacked over the weekend because of Prince Harry’s presence there, insiders have announced that Harry was protected one mile away from the attack in a sealed area, protected by SAS officers.

Prince Harry with Ex Chelsy Davy

Prince Harry has been the subject of a Taliban attack in Afganistan

Taliban attacks in the area are quite common, but it is believed that this was made as a direct result of Prince Harry being in the camp. Harry is a fully trained Apache helicopter pilot, and is due to begin operations in the coming days as part of a four month deployment.

Taliban sources are said to be seeking retribution in response to Prince Harry’s disrespectful use of Billiard equipment on a recent break to Las Vegas. It is well known that the Taliban hold very strict views where Billiards are concerned, and activities including resting your balls on the baize, banging slappers til the sun comes up and leaving pint glasses on the woodwork are all deemed offensive.

Friends of Prince Harry were reported as saying “It was totally wild, like proper mental, H kept saying he was going for the red balls in the top pocket…. it was like, totally amazing”.

Billiard fans the world over initially reacted with outrage at the inappropriate use of sporting equipment, but this is the first incidence of violence towards anyone participating in a Billiards related gangbang.

Prince Harry has apologised for his activities saying “that he just wanted to put the whole, extremely enjoyable week behind him and get on with the work he is there to do”.

We were going to ask someone from the Taliban for their opinion by it seems a little risky so we didn’t.


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