Olympic Legacy is Assured

Official figures released today by the department of self justification show that the Olympic legacy promised to us by Lord Coe, Boris Johnson et al is safe for years to come. Statistics to be published today show that more people spent longer watching people running, jumping and pedalling there way to fame and riches than at any previous games.

olympic legacy is safe for a generation

Olympic rings on fire symbolising the burning haemorrhoids epidemic anticipated after millions of plucky Brits gorge on junk food, too much beer and days of constant inactivity

We went onto the street to gauge public opinion on the Olympic legacy.

Mary Mantle said, “It’s been incredible, my boyfriend Barry hasn’t stopped watching them athletes and stuff for weeks now…. morning noon and night….. I admire him so much for his hard work and dedication.” she continued “Barry is adamant that the games have changed his views and from now on he is going to be watching a lot more TV, if only to keep the legacy alive.”

It seems that tuning in to watch millionaire hop, skip and jump their way into the record books has given the nation an appetite for watching far more TV than they used to.

Colin Wright, 22, from Tottenham said “I for one won’t be letting the legacy slip through my fingers, having spent many happy hours watching the games this summer, especially Jessica Ennis and the Ladies Beach Volley Ball, I’m gonna go channel hopping looking for more scantily clad hotties bouncing around….. it was great!” he also continued (even though we were walking away at this point), saying “there were some low points such as that british girl in the swimming who put me off my stroke for an hour or two, but as soon as I tuned into see the Trott girl in the cycling I got wood again and it all turned out ok in the end!”

Locock official organisers of legacy implementation are satisfied so far, saying sales of beer, take away food and tissues have seen record sales during the games.

TV watching saw a massive increase during the games as we all embraced the spirit of London 2012 by getting drunk, sitting for days on end and having junk food delivered in record numbers.

TV watching saw a massive increase during the games as we all embraced the spirit of London 2012 by getting drunk, sitting for days on end and having junk food delivered in record numbers.

A spokesman for the Government said “I think the people of Britain will continue to reap the rewards of London 2012, I for one will be watching more TV in future, and I know many of my colleagues feel the same.”

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