Archive for April, 2009

The legend of Gordon Brown

April 29, 2009

Just when we all thought it could get no worse for Gordon Brown, when it should technically be impossible for him to fuck up any further, he goes and fucks up much further.

Following the hoo haa regarding the one way gravy train that he and his witless cohorts are busy feasting upon, the hero of our tale, Gordon himself set about changing the system currently used by politicians to inflate their  meagre subsistence. This takes the form of a second home allowance, of up to £24,000 per year, for which our galant MP’s (several of which refer to themselves as honourable) have to provide receipts.
In effect this led to many MP’s refering to first homes as second homes as first homes. Even the Home Secretary (correct as we went to press on the 29-04-09 but likely to change at any moment)  called a bedsit she shares for four noghts a week with her sister in London her first home, while the country house with her husband, children dog etc ….. oh yes….. and the much bigger mortgage was her “Second Home” and as such eligible for an expenses claim. When questioned on the matter she said…… ” It is normal practice and is within the House of Commons rules. That it may well be, but as the linch pin of our judical system is it right that we have someone of such dubious moral backbone? Surely any decent human being in a position of trust would be aware of how that would look to the rest of the country?
Anyway,  back to the heroes tale of woe.
Gordon, when made aware of Rupert Murdock’s displeasure set about doing something to fix the sorry state of affairs. His solution was to instead give all Mp’s a daily payment of £170 just for dragging their sad, sorry, fat, lazy, pampered arses into the job that they are already getting paid for…… at an annual cost of £25,000 and on top of that they would no longer need to provide any expenses receipts, so would be free to squander this tax free windfall as they saw fit.
Gordon, they wrote a song about you back in the 70’s long before you rose to mediocrity…….. you might remember it…… it’s called “Gordon you’re  fuck witted fool with poor judgement”  
Not surprisingly this new brainwave has been dropped as of today, I am informed that Gordon is putting the finishing touches to his latest plan to cull all the over 70’s in an attempt to stop the swine flu outbreak. Expect a press release shortly.    

Is Cyber space filling up?

April 27, 2009

Recent reports that the internets capacity is fast filling up is causing concern around the world. It is estimated that demand could double in 2009 as more people work from home. This has to be a somewhat flawed arguement however as infrastructure will no doubt expand to allow for this growth. The current network is very different to the phone systems we had only a few years ago and so it is my conjecture that rather than see the internet grind to a halt, it is more likely to continue to expand unabaited. Our usage has indeed grown massively, in fact the internet is today in 2009 over 75 times the size it was in 2002 when measured in exabytes of traffic per month. This is largely due to the way that we use the net however, in has only been in the last few years that video and music could be reliably streamed to the masses. It is interesting to see that in February 2009 there were over 35 million downloads from iplayer, which is 5% of all UK internet traffic.

We will continue to advance in our net usage, and a the infrastructure in expanded the usage will expand to fill it, it will ever be thus.

Government Sleaze

April 16, 2009

I suppose we should ask ourselves if it is almost to be expected for our elected representatives to be a bunch of good for nothing self preservers. It has after all been a long time since any of them exhibited what you might call honour or gallantry. We probably have to go back to the likes of Cecil Parkinson to find someone who fell on his sword rather than bring their party into disrepute.

These days it seems to be all about hanging onto your job until they dismiss you as you get a better severance package that way. It is a long way from honourable.

In recent years the government has trebled the size of its non elected advisory staff and the question has to be…… why? Time and again these people show themselves to be incapable of making rational, mature choices.

I was brought up to believe that the buck stops at the top. Someone should take responsibility for the shambles that is 10 Downing Street. We as a nation have bigger fish to fry than a few stupid, ill advised emails sent by the likes of Damien Mcbride to Derek Draper, but still have they no self respect, let alone respect for the institution that they are allegedly serving?