Archive for August, 2008

The rapid evolution of Olympians……

August 16, 2008

The commentator on Eurosport today sat watching the same 100m mens final that I was watching and stated without so much as a smirk that the evolution of man was breathtaking……… I laughed out loud.

For those of you who missed the race, Usain Bolt from Jamaica, all 6ft 5″ sprinter of him….. galloped down the first 70m so fast that he dropped his hands in a “how easy is this” gesture and coasted over the line, 5 yards ahead of his nearest rival….. and still broke the world record…. with 0 wind assistance. If he had carried on running he would have been close to a sub 9.6 which is not just breattaking, it is also piss taking as evolution just doesn’t happen that fast.

Call me a crazy old cynic if you like, but all this will come out in the wash….. rule number one when cheating is try to look like its difficult and you really tried hard……. grinning and smirking as your supercharged arse flies across the finish line just isn’t the way to avoid questions being asked.

Just because an athlete passes a current drug test, doen’t mean he isn’t ripped to the tits on something good…. just that he isn’t ripped to the tits on something that is currently tested for. In much the same way that a man high on dope will pass a breatherlyzer, the authorities are always one step behind the cheats. It has always been thus, and will continue to be so, as long as the spoils are worth winning.

Mark my words, in a few years time they will be swapping the medals about again……..

A Level Results

August 14, 2008

Here we are once again, witnessing the 28th consecutive year of school pupils becoming smarter.

Is that really what we are supposed to believe? Whilst I wouldn’t want to decry the undoubted efforts of all our school children, the current methods of measuring their performance is nothing short of ludicrous.

If course work is allowed to represent so much of the final mark and the pupil is given several attempts to improve his or her coursework before it is finally handed in to be graded should we not be more concerned that students are still stupid enough to fail?

I know we live in a world where school kids aren’t allowed to compete with each other. so that there are no losers and the fat kids don’t cry, but surely these kids are going to implode when they hit the big bad world and realise that life is a competition. Some fat kids might actually put down their donuts and trot after the school bully, thus getting some excercise and not dying of a heart attach at 38.

If I was a parent, I would kick my kids arse for anything less than an A using the current marking structure, because anything less than an A equals laziness, nothing more…. oh, perhaps some latent stupidity also, but if the kid can’t copy stuff out of a book, and then make the changes his teacher tells him to then he deserves a life asking if “you want fries with that?”

An article in the Daily telegraph last week stated that in tests, todays kids receiving an A would have been given a C 20 years ago. Did a handful of C’s and B’s do us any harm? No, because they were considered valuable. The theory of giving every kid half a dozen A’s each has rendered the qualification system a laughingstock, and given the universities no way of knowing which kids can actually read and write. So the solution……………. to invent an A* grade……….. starting in September 08, the brightest kids will be working towards an A*, in 10 years time will it be A**** ?

All I can really add is that you couldn’t make it up….. un …. fucking ….. believable.