Jeremy Clarkson Offends Teaching Profession
Jeremy Clarkson, main host and big cheese at BBC cash cow Top Gear has managed once again to cause offence, for not saying something three years ago.
His crime, (for that is what it is) was to fail to update his nursery rhyme etiquette in line with modern protocols. In 1996 John Major, our Prime Minister at the time, with fuck all better to do while waiting to lose a general election (it transpires) rewrote several popular nursery rhymes, one of them being “eenie meenie miney mo”.
Following a publicity campaign costing tens of millions of pounds, we all became aware that from that moment forth, the only people that were aloud to continue to use the N***** word were black rappers when describing their homies as well of course as Guy Gibson in the Dam Busters movie.
The rest of us had to replace the N***** word with Teacher forthwith.
Major might have been a bit grey, but he was a closet genius (Edwina Currie permitting). That year, the National Union of Teaching Staff (NUTS) accepted this nursery rhyme name check as payment in lieu of a wage increase for their workers…… some of whom instantly started to regret the decision as they we forcibly caught by the toe just before lunch by 3b outside the headmasters study.
Mr Clarkson may indeed be at an age where he didn’t keep abreast of nursery rhyme politics and etiquette in the manner befitting a broadcasting professional on this occasion, and I am sure he is contrite as he can be at not being able to use a word that the people who are it, use to describe themselves while making music…. and money…..
… a brief aside here……. who does invent these fucked up laws?
Being Ghengis Khan, and knowing as I do a little about crushing fuckers I don’t like….. it’s probably time I mentioned Piers ‘what a cunt’ Morgan. For those of you that are not up to speed on why Morgan and Clarkson hate each other so much, you can catch up on their history here
Having never met either of them, I do naturally feel more drawn towards Clarkson….. predominantly because, of the two, he seems far less likely to fuck my mum and eat my babies. (Come off it Piers… even your mum must think you’re a disappointing cunt?)
Anyway… I digress….. back to eenie meenie gate……
So, Cuntface used to work for the Mirror (til he was sacked for cuntedness) …. and it’s the Mirror that launch an investigation into Jeremy mumbling the bit you’re not supposed to say in a nursery rhyme dating back hundreds of years, in an unused outtake from Top Gear.
Incidentally, this happened within a few months of Jeremy laughing live on Top Gear because Morgans US chat show was axed.
One would like to think that if Max Clifford can go to prison then Piers must be due a stretch any time soon……… his shit has got to catch up with him soon one would hope?
Looking from the outside, and speaking as the man who created the biggest empire the world has ever seen, it does look suspiciously like Morgan has had a hand in making life difficult for Clarkson. I would be amazed if he wasn’t involved, being the despicable little shit that he undoubtedly is.
It must rankle with Morgan that while he couldn’t crack America, Top Gear is viewed by over 360 million people. Let’s put that in perspective, there are 6 billion people on earth and 6% of all of them watch Top Gear, recognise Jeremy, the hamster and the gay one, while a couple of million septics couldn’t be arsed to watch cuntiface smarm his way through a chat show.
And so to the BBC, left wing lentilfest employer of Clarkson. It must irritate them immensely that a man who represents everything that they despise is their biggest success. No doubt there is an element at the top who would be happy to see him go, but for now, the accountants have appeased them sufficiently that Top Gear gets to live another day to entertain us all.
I am in no doubt that it is virtually impossible for Clarkson and crew to continue to entertain us without getting close to offending someone at some time. If they didn’t push the boundaries a little the show would lose its edge, it’s appeal and ultimately it’s viewers. So, it’s actually a case that it’s a great show, made by great people, for the wrong organization.
In time, as with all things, this will come to pass and Top Gear will move on to pastures new, hopefully before Auntie manages to fuck it up.
To Jeremy all I would say is this. The majority can see this for what it is… and no, you shouldn’t have made that apology….. it wasn’t good.
Meanwhile, if anyone has any evidence that will put Morgan behind bars, please tweet it at #pierscunt and we’ll see what we can do with it.
Yours as ever